Hi guys! Been a while since I've written here, and I have a lot of updates for you (as well as explanations for why I'm really slow and a bit inactive lately).
I did really, really poorly in an upper division class for my major which really shook my confidence and I'm considering changing my direction a bit in school because I'm realizing that I'm just really goddamn awful at data integration and more complicated programming. Which is pretty disheartening because for the longest time I wanted to consider myself good at it, and now I'm realizing I have 0 inclination and talent for it, after years of trying to force it and work hard at it. I had a ton of depression and anxiety and was having anxiety attacks more than once a month (the whole blacking out, running out of oxygen, unable to stand deal) but didn't tell my parents until about a week or so ago.
They were (understandably) really concerned but now they don't want me to go back to school because they think I'll just fail my classes and do poorly and waste money (did I mention I also am about $20,000 short of tuition to finish my senior year? Yeah.) I also have an extremely awful time communicating with them and they want me to stay home and skip a semester to recover and repair my relationship with them (which I don't think is going to help me much because I am anxious to move forward with my education and being at home in constant proximity to them stresses me out to no end with how overbearing they can be). The last couple of weeks has been a lot of me having a lot of very heavy and serious conversations with my parents regarding my future and my relationship with them. I did begin seeing a psychologist for my depression and anxiety, and got prescribed some medication from my primary physician.
If I have not completed commissioned work for you, I am deeply sorry. I'm not trying to make excuses for why I didn't complete it yet, but my personal life with my parents and schooling, as well as my mental and physical health has been on a rapid decline this whole semester and things are very turbulent for me right now. I absolutely promise that I will try to get all this commissioned work done in the next few days as I hate to keep you guys waiting any longer, and I can't express enough how thankful I am for all your patience and support. It means a lot to me, and really helps me feel a bit better in these trying times. To my Patreon patrons, I'm so sorry that the work for December is incomplete. I will still upload what I have, and will finish and re-upload it as a bonus for January as well.
All of your support and kind words and comments mean the world to me, and I hope everyone else had a much better and brighter holiday season than mine! Please drop me a line if you commissioned work from me and I haven't replied to you yet; I swear I'm not trying to ignore you, it might've gotten a bit buried among all the stuff flowing into my inbox from school.